Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Explicit Material! Read with CAUTION!

Upon our return to work for the 09-10 school year, we were told paper would be very limited- it's expensive, and we waste too much of it. OK, no big deal. They will give us other tools/resources to use to teach. We get all these lovely, colorful, 'exciting' power-points that tell us how technology has changed over the years. While I am 26 years old (which most think is quite young) it made me feel old...I have no idea what the gray haired folks felt like. Anyway, we were told to you use our document cameras (ELMO) as often as possible in order to not use up the limited supply of paper we have. OK, no problem. Use the (ELMO) or make class sets...got it.

Fast forward to 7 painful, boring, miserable staff development days later...The kids arrive to their first day of school. As many of us go over our classroom rules and procedures (using our ELMO's, of course) our bulbs start to go out. We can just replace it, right? I mean, if we can't use paper and are forced to use the ELMO they should have replacement parts, correct? It's just common sense. Ummmm, not so much. The bulbs are $385 each, and our school doesn't have ANY, or the money to order more!!! At this point we are all thinking "ARE YOU F*&^ING CRAZY, SCHOOL DISTRICT!?!?"
So, people are all upset at our Technology Specialist (who I will call 'Tailpipe', and will explain why later) for not telling us what to do to maintain our ELMO and not ordering bulbs But wait, 'Tailpipe' tells us we should have all cleaned out the filters to our ELMO's before using them. What? Como? Air filter? That wasn't on the power point. Then 'Tailpipe' let's us know we are supposed to be responsible for cleaning our equipment.
WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!!!!!...'Tailpipe' is the Technology GURU at our school. If we touch anything he goes off on us! Seriously, he is the grumpiest, most angry evil person I have ever met (at our school, at least)! So, he can't admit that 1) he didn't clean the equipment while it sat in his office all summer 2) he didn't order the bulbs to replace the broken ones and 3) he recommended that our district get equipment that has such expensive replacement parts.....and he is a SPECIALIST!!!
So, why do I call him 'Tailpipe'???? He has one of those Smart-cars. And he brags about it all the time. (I do know they are good for the environment and all, but for the cost and what you get they are a rip off. But, he loves to remind me he can plug his i-pod directly into the outlet! OMG! That's amazing! I can plug my i-pod into my 1998 Nissan Altima!!!!!!) Anyway, I have decided that he must love his car so much because it is putting out. I can just picture him waking up in the middle of the night, running into the garage (of course his Smart-car can't sit outside) to spend some time with his Smart-car's tailpipe. I know it's disturbing, but if you knew the man you would agree!
And that tailpipe is hard to get to..... I guess 'Tailpipe' loves a challenge!


Krystyn said...

Thanks for the graphics of "tailpipe."

And, really, they want you to do maintenance on equipment that costs over $300 for one part? That's insane.

PS I hope tailpipe doesn't know about your blog!

Stephanie said...

Oh now that is hilarious!!
We only have one ELMO at Landons school and the teachers all fight over it! know they are SUPER expensive! (but $385 for a bulb..thats just insane!!)

Rachel said...

HAHA!!!! I love that you included a picture of the Smart Car!!

I hope they get something figured out for you!! I cannot believe one bulb costs so much!!! That is crazy!

Stephanie said...

I don't even know what an ELMO is, but I have not walked in a school in 10 years. Wow!

But this sounds a little quirky to me. I'm surprised tailpipe still has a job!

writing4612 said...

Oh man. My teachers always dreaded telling our technology specialist when the bulbs on their projectors blew. They were soo expensive!

grandma Pat said...

That is pretty funny. Love the IT guys

Cara said...

Whaaaat? That makes no sense at all! The ELMO sounds like cool technology, but not very practical!

Stephanie said...

Check out my blog...something for you might be there!!! (dont get too excited..its not a free drink or anything! lol)
HH soon though!!